Enjoy every second of life while you still can

I’m a firm believer that no matter what we accomplish in life, or how many things we are able to acquire over the course of our lifetimes, one certainty awaits us all — we’re eventually going to run out of batteries.

Now, I’ve never really subscribed to the theory that money can’t buy happiness because, well, it sure beats the heck out of not having money, and that’s a pretty solid start to happiness right there. However, I would suggest that money can’t buy immortality, and that pretty much ensures that nobody truly gets the ideal “happy ending” in life.

With that being said, I sincerely believe that the true secret to life is, quite simply, to enjoy life while it’s yours to enjoy. Enjoy and appreciate those around you who make your life more enjoyable. Take the time to try those things you’ve always wanted to experience. Visit new places, take in more sunrises and use up your vacation days while you can.

Immortaility is not promised to any of us. In fact, tonight isn’t promised to any of us.

That thought was going through my mind the other day when I came across a story on the UPI news site about a nursing home in Long Island, N.Y., being sued for allegedly hiring a male stripper to entertain its elderly residents during a party in the facility’s recreational room. The suit was reportedly filed by the son of an 85-year-old resident, who felt the woman, “... has lived 85 years as a traditional Baptist, hard-working, lady... And now she has been defiled,” according to the plaintiff’s attorney.

And, just how did the woman’s son discover the presence of a male stripper at his mother’s nursing home? Well, according to the story, he stumbled across a photo “that appears to show the woman slipping money into a male stripper’s briefs.”

Oh, the humanity.

The suit reportedly stated, “Plaintiff Bernice Youngblood was placed in apprehension of imminent, offensive, physical harm, as she was confused and bewildered as to why a muscular, almost nude man, was approaching her and placing his body and limbs, over [her].”

I see. So, she obviously reacted the way any of us would if placed in a similarly terrifying position — she stuffed dollar bills down his undies.

Granted, I do not know all the specifics to this. Perhaps the picture shows staff members pointing a gun at the lady’s head while she tipped out her entertainer, or maybe there is...

Does anybody else find it completely awesome that the woman’s last name is “Youngblood?”

I’m having a hard time getting my head wrapped around this lawsuit. Does the son honestly believe that his elderly mother was being abused or taken advantage of in this instance? If so, I appreciate his concern, and would certainly seek action against anyone I thought was treating my mother unfairly or dangerously.

But if he is just seizing an opportunity to cash in, or, maybe worse, treating his mother like something less than a person because of her age, then that’s more wrong than I can even explain.

You know what old people are? Old. You know what they aren’t? Dead.

I like hearing stories about older people getting out and enjoying their lives to the best of their abilities. Frankly, it inspires me and often shames me for spending so much time in the bosom of my couch when people twice my age are out being active and taking advantage of every opportunity around them.

And it appears Mrs. Youngblood is still very much enjoying the opportunities before her.

Look, nobody gets out of this thing alive. It’s nihilistic thinking, I admit, but we are really only here in these bodies for so long — why not spend that time with a smile on our faces rather than taking everything so seriously in life?

Should the nursing home have played a part in this? Probably not. There are lines of appropriateness that exist for a reason, and this probably crosses it at some point. But if I came across a photo of my mother putting dollar bills down the front of a young man’s ...

But I digress.

Sorry. That mental image jarred me a bit. I’d sue. But that’s only because my mommy is a saint.