Point of No Return

Taking one last look at 2005

It was the best of times ... nah.

Call me Ishmael ... nah.

Traditions are tough to forget

Traditionally, this is a season of tradition.

We collectively share some of these traditions, such as singing carols, admiring a giant Santa Claus hat on top of the totem pole in Bethany Beach or just watching those time-tested television classics that somehow still fill us with a sense of warmth every year. We send cards, hang up the cards we receive and swallow aspirin by the handful.

A small moment to give thanks

Life moves fast. That statement’s probably right up there with water is wet, Mark Hardt is loud and Dr. Phil always takes the woman’s side, but it’s a stone-cold fact.

The love doctor is now in

All that wasted money on candy and flowers ...

Those books available that teach a man the proper way to treat a woman? Bogus. The lessons my father taught me about being a man and respecting women? Hah! Alan Alda and all that sensitive hoo-ha? Lies.

Sleazy twosome out of Philly

“I fight for what I think is right.”
— Terrell Owens, Nov. 8, 2005
What a yahoo.

It's all survival of the fittest

Toothbrush? Check. Sanitizing wipes? Check. Set of dominoes and big fuzzy hat ...

Never mind.

Let's dissect the new words

Words are good.

Spoken or written, words relay our thoughts, our messages, our feelings and emotions. Different languages can be translated to convey the meaning of the words and, when grouped together just the right way, they can sound, well, pretty.

The name is the game here

Stealth in advance, the hunter stalks his prey and mentally surveys potential avenues of attack. Decided on an ultimate course of action, he pounces on his victim, taking that which is most important.

That’s how I felt as I swiped this column idea straight from the lips of our office manager, Monica Fleming.

Community shines bright...again

I humble myself before you.

Once again, the call has gone out for help. Once again, this community has rolled up its collective sleeves, plunged headfirst into the effort and has responded with an outpouring of love and money that is destined to soothe another human’s wounds.

Not always easy to say bye

We’ve lost one of our own. And that’s never easy.

Pretty nifty to see Susan at 50

Every so often the urge strikes me to really look at a serious conflict facing the world today and take a stab at offering potential solutions or alternatives. Monday morning, while combing through the front pages of the top daily newspapers in the world, I ...

Excuse me.

Oh, the things I've seen

Somehow, the birds sounded pleasant on Monday. That awful chirping noise every morning that typically causes my eyes to itch and parts of my body to shrivel up more quickly than Burt Reynolds in a tanning bed actually sounded nice to me as I awoke to start my week.

Respect the choice made

One thought a week.

That’s all I really need to do this part of my job. Heck, it doesn’t even really need to be a good idea. All a columnist needs is one compelling or odd thought to stake claim in the brain, and we can usually take the ball and run smack dab into the abyss.

My choice to avoid choices

I’m throwing up the white flag. My will to run with the big dogs has decided to curl up for a nap on the porch, and I will no longer attempt to bail water from a sinking boat with a teaspoon. It’s been said that a wise man knows his limitations and, lack of personal wisdom aside, I realize when I’ve met my match.

I will no longer make decisions.

You heard it here first ...again

Through new technology obtained by the Coastal Point, we were able to obtain recordings of the discussions by the International Olympic Committee prior to the final vote that led to the organization’s decision to select London as the site for the 2012 Summer Olympic Games. Individuals’ names have not been revealed to protect the sanctity of the decision-making process.

Life is a constant lesson

Human intelligence is a hard element to quantify.

Moms, this is your day to shine

Mothers everywhere, unite! This is your day.

For 364 days a year you put yourself on the bottom of the priority list. The needs and wants of your offspring inspire immediate response, and the hurts and wounds of your children elicit the nurturing and caring elements that make you who you are. Now, one and all, pat yourselves on the back for all you’ve done.

Yet another look into fingers

Strange things grab a hold of my interest.

Oh, we can all get sidetracked or intrigued by things we wouldn’t be able to explain to another living soul, but some oddities honestly grab hold of my cerebral steering wheel and crash my conscious into a brick wall. You get distracted or go off on tangents because you see a dog making amorous advances towards a mollusk? That’s nothing.

We must appreciate greatness

Gather ‘round, for I have seen greatness.

Welcome to the real world, kid

Patrick James Lehl, this is your life.

Look, I realize you’re barely a month old, but from the moment my little sister exposed you to the world, you were immediately initiated into the land of curious humanity. And, yes, that is indeed a scary prospect.

Sometimes, 'away' is the way

’ve always kind of wanted to see the Outer Banks. There’s the intrigue behind the tales from friends regarding the peaceful tranquility and aesthetic charm of the surroundings, not to mention my general puzzlement over those “OBX” stickers I’ve seen people in this area sport on their cars over the years.

Why would I buy this product?

Be advised. This column could cause shortness of breath, skin rash, sore feet, a runny nose, temporary or permanent loss of the use of your extremities, a second head growing from your spinal cord, the ability to see dead people, your hearing to be replaced by a consistent beeping sound and a near-complete shift in your gender identification.

Beware false noses … really

Mental health professionals often play a little game where they test associative skills by showing a generic photo to a patient and asking him or her the first thing that comes to mind.

Syndicate content