Addicted to beauty

By Ginger Hoban
Special to the Coastal Point

There are addicts walking the streets among us. Innocent–looking folks, they could be your neighbor, or teacher, or even your mother. But the chemical they’re addicted to isn’t something you drink, or smoke or snort. It’s far more insidious. The chemical they’re addicted to is the cornerstone of plant life. They’re the chlorophyll junkies.

Sure, it starts out innocently enough, a geranium here, a marigold there. Nothing that the average person wouldn’t buy. Then suddenly your yard is a jungle and you’re hanging grow lights in the basement. How did it come to this?

To help recognize these poor plantaholics, here are some signs to look for. Taking a cue from Jeff Foxworthy, you may be a chlorophyll junkie if:

• You have a reserved parking space at your local garden center.

• You have to rake your living room.

• You plan your vacation itinerary around the nurseries along the way.

• You’ve been learning Latin in order to search for plants on the Internet.

• You take your kids to play at the garden center instead of the park.

• You carry pruners in your purse, “just in case” you need to take cuttings.

• Your friends start begging you NOT to bring over any more squash and tomatoes.

• You don’t come out of your room for three days after the new Wayside Gardens catalog arrives.

• You decide to skip the new shoes in favor of the new plant.

• You have 3x5 cards of every plant in your yard, indexed by both common and Latin names.

• You regularly bring home plants on the verge of death in hopes of reviving them.

• You’re willing to put up with Philadelphia for the sake of the Flower Show.

• You’re on a first name basis with even the cats at the garden center.

• You’ve been to Longwood Gardens for every event of the year.

• You bring your beach chair to the greenhouse in January.

• By August you’ve already planned next year’s entire garden.

• Your children are named Heather, Forrest, Lily and Rose.

If your recognize someone you know in these symptoms, do not attempt to intervene. There is no known cure for this addiction. These poor souls will have to live with this burden for the rest of their lives. And you know who you are.

Ginger Hogan is a certified Delaware garden center manager at Lord’s Landscaping.