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Darin J. McCann

Stealth in advance, the hunter stalks his prey and mentally surveys potential avenues of attack. Decided on an ultimate course of action, he pounces on his victim, taking that which is most important.

That’s how I felt as I swiped this column idea straight from the lips of our office manager, Monica Fleming.

Monica gets the task every week of typing in the names of those fortunate — though somewhat masochistic — couples who recently applied for marriage licenses in Sussex County (Monica usually labels the file as “Marriage Licenses,” whereas our former office manager, Beth Long, named the file something less flattering).

She mentioned to me in passing that some of the women should keep their maiden names simply because the last names of some of the men on the list were, well, less enticing. Naturally, this got me thinking.

That thought alone should have you scared.

My mind automatically raced to the raunchier combination of names that could transpire if mixed properly. A giggle at one, a full-blown laugh at the next and a puzzled bewilderment over the anatomical possibilities of the third followed. Realizing that I could never run with so perverse a trail of thought for a column, I quickly switched my energies to something more clean, such as cute little combinations of mirth and good will.

Nope, still wondering if there is enough Pilates training in the world for a person to be flexible enough to pull off that third one. I mean, I’ve seen contortionists from India ...

But I digress.

Besides the obvious possibilities, such as Candy Kain or Susie Woosie, there are the historical implications one must considered before adopting a new name. For instance, one should consider the ramifications of becoming Mrs. Martha Stewart, Hillary Clinton, Lizzie Borden, Courtney Love or Susan Lyons. I mean, that’s a lot to think about.

Ladies, when making that decision to take on the surname of the man you love, there is much, much more to contemplate than whimsical coincidence or a match with a famous person. Also think long and hard about the rhyme thing. For instance, Ann McCann is a fine name, but think long and hard before choosing it for yourself. You’re not very far away from being considered annoying right off the bat.

Editor’s Note: The rhyming of first names is a tough one, as well. I once dated a Karen, and I had neighbors — who I liked, mind you — named Stan and Fran. Being introduced as Darin and Karen or Stan and Fran can make people want to poke lollipop sticks in your eyes before you can ever win them over. You might want to also consider combinations like Jan and Dean or Ricky and Lucy before becoming too attached to a person.

There are also issues of convenience to consider. It’s bad enough for a woman to have to change her social security card, driver’s license, credit cards and business cards. Does she really want to also incur the possibility of changing from, say, Jane Jones, to Jane Nasamarketziadelphinos?

Hyphening that name is not very practical, is it? You’d have to jump the rest of your name to the back of the card.

Some are just saddled with names. I grew up with two Michael Jacksons, served in the United States Marine Corps with a Mike Tyson and went to college with a Don Johnson (though he went by his middle name). These were not names of choice, and at least one of them got a little punchy every time I would do a moon walk past him in the hallways at school.

Editor’s Note: My version of the moon walk looked little like the one the “real” Michael Jackson performed. Think of a drunken egret stumbling backwards down a sliding board with a plate balanced on his head and you have a better understanding of my dancing skills.

I am not calling for an end to women assuming the last name of the man she is marrying. No, no, I’m a fan of it. Though the custom is a bit sexist and archaic in nature, there is also something in the tradition that harkens feelings of family pride and new beginnings — of a woman assuming the responsibilities and culture of a family’s heritage and doing her part to carry on the legacy.

I know, for instance, I’ve always been more sensitive to people making fun of my last name than my first. To me, they were also taking a shot at my father, my grandfather and all those glorious pig thieves in my family’s past. I was never handed down a skill like woodworking or painting by my family, but that name and a hypnotic affinity for chilled Irish whiskey will continue to be passed along my family tree throughout history, by me or one of my cousins.

It’s all part of the plan.

So, what’s in a name? Everything. It is how we say hello to the world, and how we honor those before us. It can identify our heritage, show pride or simply be funny sometimes.

For instance, if I named my son Tom McCann ...

South Bethany gets the nod

When an election results in 84 percent of the vote going to one side, it’s safe to consider it an official blow-out. When the election results in residents of a small town giving their overwhelming approval for the town to spend up to $970,000 to build a new police station and town hall, the blow-out is almost a surprise.

But that’s what recently happened in South Bethany.

Though the turnout for the special election last Saturday was smaller than normally seen in the town’s general elections, consider that 173 of the 186 absentee ballots mailed out by the town came back, according to Town Clerk Dee Burbage. That’s a 93-percent voter turnout through absentee ballots, for new municipal buildings in a place that is not their primary residence.

Usually, people only turn out like that when they are adamantly opposed to something, not when they are in favor of spending such a significant amount of town money.

This speaks on two issues — first, that the state of disrepair at the police station and the increasingly cramped conditions in town hall needed to be addressed and, second, that the voters of South Bethany trust the town council to do the right thing for all of them.

For a town long embroiled in rancor and personal agendas amongst residents and officials sometimes outweighing what was best for the town, the current administration appears to have captured the public’s trust.

That is incredibly important.

We applaud the voters of South Bethany for seeing a need to improve the town’s facilities, and congratulate town officials for getting the job done.

We shouldn’t have to pay twice for roads
Editor:

The plan to develop every inch of Sussex County has hit a snag.

When the county council approved all of the sprawl it was responsible for over the past 10 or 15 years, it did so without making sure that adequate roads, among other things, were there to support all of that additional traffic.

Like other states, it did not require the developers to do it. It pretended it wasn’t necessary and played the gamble of catch-up. That meant that the agencies that were responsible for supporting increased development, like DNREC and DelDOT, would scramble later to find funds to provide the missing roads, etc. The cumulative effect got really bad.

It was that kind of infrastructure catch-up game that failed down in New Orleans and caused the tragedy when events caught up with the lack of proper planning.

That same catch-up game is now threatening to curb current additional approvals of developments, and that is making the developers anxious because the Sussex County Council’s willingness to approve their new projects might be stalled.

Because of the additional road demands, poor DelDOT was caught in the middle, is flat broke, and had to cancel or delay a lot of planned road projects.

That proved to be an embarrassment to the county council because their plans to approve developments willy-nilly would be jeopardized because public attention would be on it, so somebody had to come up with a solution, and quick.

Somebody did, and the clever little plan that is evolving is this: the plan is that you, the taxpayer, is going to be required to pay for the roads that are now needed because developers were not required by the council to do so. Now that the council members are caught off-base, they picked you to save the day for them.

You ask, how are they going to do that?

Why, it is simple. In the past there were roads that were built by the state to accommodate traffic loads, like 301, paid for by your taxes and there are some that served the rush to work or to the beaches and other popular places. It would be those roads which people would be forced to pay toll for if they used them.

But that wouldn’t solve the immediate problem of a flat broke DelDOT, which needs an immediate big transfusion of money, so the plot gets deeper. Why not sell the road to a private owner, even if it is a foreign country, which would be more than willing to pay billions of dollars up front for it in anticipation of the tolls they would charge you forever after?

The up-front money would go to the state and thus to DelDOT which would then free up the Sussex County Council development plans at once and the developers would not be inconvenienced.

If tolls were levied by the state instead of by a foreign country, the dribble of tolls would not provide the immediate lump-sum money needed to keep the development momentum going without a hitch.

Also, DelDOT needed money immediately to pay employees and keep the outfit going because the state didn’t have any money to give them for that. So DelDOT was chosen to be the spokesman for the toll-road deal. It all tied up neatly except for one thing.

The one thing that is missing is your approval for this clever little scheme.

They will select the roads that would bring them in the most money, the private owner would start charging you to ride on the roads which your tax dollars paid for, and the plans for future development would then not be threatened. The state, the council, the developers and the Positive Growth Alliance would all be happy. Their game would not be interrupted.

Yours might be, though. You would be hit from all sides. You would be paying tolls for roads you already paid for, that would increase the dense traffic that is driving you crazy, and add more developments that are already destroying your quality of life.

If it goes through, with your approval, you would end up maybe paying tolls to China, which would probably be the highest bidder. That is really America first, all right.

Only one thing could put a crimp in their plan and that is you. If you’re not happy, you’d better let them know it. Frankly, why should you pay tolls to use a road you have already paid for with your taxes? Ask them that question and watch them scramble.

That should make you happy.

Charles N. Valenti
Rehoboth Beach

Thankful for efforts of emergency teams
Editor:

I am writing to express my gratitude to several organizations whose response to a medical emergency was outstanding. I also want to encourage our community to respect and support our emergency services team.

On Sept. 15, my husband experienced what apparently was a heat stroke that could have been fatal if he had not received effective care very quickly. Fortunately I was close by when he became unconscious, and I immediately called 911. Within a few minutes help had arrived.

The 911 dispatcher, Millville Fire Department EMTs and Sussex County EMS technicians took control of the situation and provided the help my husband needed with great skill and genuine concern. The emergency room team at Beebe Hospital was just as effective, attentive and caring.

My thanks to all of you! I hope we do not need to call on your services again, however I am very glad to know you are there if the need does arise!

Mary James Legatski
Dagsboro